A year has passed, didn't it?
Hello guys! I'm back with my blogging once again~
I left the blog for quite a while, I'm really sorry.
I have a life too, y'know. Having a blog is too much of a responsibility for me, not to mention a life..
Nonetheless, it feels good to be back! ^^ All these feelings have cramped up in me for awhile, and I think it's time for me to unleash the mixed up emotions inside of me.
A new year, a new start.
"Make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today."
My dad always said that to me. It didn't actually get me at the start but now I think I've managed to understand what he meant. "You should be grateful for being alive today, and be grateful if you get to be alive tomorrow." That was what I thought at first until I figured out the truth myself. I was living in those thoughts for a few years, and those thoughts made me alive.
I pretty much had a bad childhood. Never getting anything I want from my parents, and my parents giving what I want to my own family members.. It's never a good sight. There are much worse things that happened but I don't think it's worth mentioning... rather I think it's better to let it be unknown to the world. You might think I'm pathetic to whine over such little things but only the person who's suffering can know the depths of those wounds. Despite all the bitterness, those memories is who made me who I am today. Every time I think of killing myself, I would remember what my dad told me and I would throw all my 'suicidal' thoughts away, and soon afterwards, a sense of regret and realization shines upon me and I promised myself to never think of that again. Hence why I keep scissors in my room instead of those box-cutter knives, or any kind of blades. It's just harder to cut your wrists with scissors, y'know?
There's a reason why I hate people with suicidal thoughts, even though I have them sometimes. I just think they really have a reason to live in the world. People die all the time, some starve to death, some gets killed in an accident, some gets murdered and the list goes on.. but you don't know what they would do to just go back alive for just a moment to see their loved ones and say a few words to them. So throwing your life away like that is just a thoughtless act.
Sometimes we need to be more appreciative with our lives. We might think what we have is 'not enough' but actually it's more than enough. Have you ever think about those homeless people on the streets? I'm pretty sure they had a much rougher life before them but I don't ever think they actually thought of "suiciding", not that I know what they actually think or what life they had.
There was one time when I was hanging out with my dear friend Aiman at McDonalds, at 12AM in the morning. There was this guy who approached me, asking for money. He said he was hungry and all, so I offered him McDonalds, I told him to pick anything he want, but he refused. In my heart I was like what the hell? You said you were hungry and now you refused when I offered you food? But then suddenly another man approached us. He told me how this guy annoyed him and his friend, and they suddenly had a fight. I didn't say anything, and they decided to settle this outside. I thought they were just being polite y'know, not fighting in a peaceful restaurant, but turns out it became a bloodbath. They were just spewing words at each other for awhile, suddenly a gang came and beat up the poor guy. He just asked for money, does he actually deserve this kind of punishment? I felt kinda depressed to see that helpless guy getting beaten up, eventhough I know that I could do something, but I never actually did. I didn't move a bit. I pretended nothing happened and continued talking to Aiman. I really felt bad, I felt like something was wrong. Aiman wanted to go and help the guy out, but I said don't go. I didn't know why. I kept thinking," If I actually gave that man money, he wouldn't have gotten into this mess." If we went to help those guys would probably beat our asses too, but when I think about it, they have no reason to do so, other than doing it 'for fun'. I was scared. But it's just too late now isn't it? It's just... too late.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Goddamn it life, why give us lemons? Couldn't you given us a better fruit? Watermelons, strawberries, anything sweet? And right before I'm about to ask myself, "How do I make lemonade with my bare hands?" A random guy throws in a pitcher and a lemon squeezer screaming "You're welcome!" Kinda sucks to be honest. It's like you're stuck with reality. but you ARE stuck with reality, no? So why don't you make use of the lemons, and quench your thirst by making a lemonade.
This quote actually tells us indirectly that 'shit happens', so flush it down the toilet and spray deodorant or some fragrant. Accept life as it is, and just go with the flow. Enjoy every bits of life as you go on. You might think, "I wish this lasts forever." or something like that but sometimes it's better of as a memory. Use those bits of memories to make sure you have a good life ahead.
I've learned to appreciate things when they come and and when it's time for them to go, I'll accept it with an open heart. Shit happens, that's for sure, but there's no reason to throw a tantrum just for that. If they go, let them be a part of your past. Don't let your past drag you in moving towards the greater future.
P.S: Despite the fact that this post isn't really about new years(probably cause you're 7 days late)... I hope you guys have a great year ahead of you. ^^
A new year, a new start.
"Make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today."
My dad always said that to me. It didn't actually get me at the start but now I think I've managed to understand what he meant. "You should be grateful for being alive today, and be grateful if you get to be alive tomorrow." That was what I thought at first until I figured out the truth myself. I was living in those thoughts for a few years, and those thoughts made me alive.
I pretty much had a bad childhood. Never getting anything I want from my parents, and my parents giving what I want to my own family members.. It's never a good sight. There are much worse things that happened but I don't think it's worth mentioning... rather I think it's better to let it be unknown to the world. You might think I'm pathetic to whine over such little things but only the person who's suffering can know the depths of those wounds. Despite all the bitterness, those memories is who made me who I am today. Every time I think of killing myself, I would remember what my dad told me and I would throw all my 'suicidal' thoughts away, and soon afterwards, a sense of regret and realization shines upon me and I promised myself to never think of that again. Hence why I keep scissors in my room instead of those box-cutter knives, or any kind of blades. It's just harder to cut your wrists with scissors, y'know?
There's a reason why I hate people with suicidal thoughts, even though I have them sometimes. I just think they really have a reason to live in the world. People die all the time, some starve to death, some gets killed in an accident, some gets murdered and the list goes on.. but you don't know what they would do to just go back alive for just a moment to see their loved ones and say a few words to them. So throwing your life away like that is just a thoughtless act.
Sometimes we need to be more appreciative with our lives. We might think what we have is 'not enough' but actually it's more than enough. Have you ever think about those homeless people on the streets? I'm pretty sure they had a much rougher life before them but I don't ever think they actually thought of "suiciding", not that I know what they actually think or what life they had.
There was one time when I was hanging out with my dear friend Aiman at McDonalds, at 12AM in the morning. There was this guy who approached me, asking for money. He said he was hungry and all, so I offered him McDonalds, I told him to pick anything he want, but he refused. In my heart I was like what the hell? You said you were hungry and now you refused when I offered you food? But then suddenly another man approached us. He told me how this guy annoyed him and his friend, and they suddenly had a fight. I didn't say anything, and they decided to settle this outside. I thought they were just being polite y'know, not fighting in a peaceful restaurant, but turns out it became a bloodbath. They were just spewing words at each other for awhile, suddenly a gang came and beat up the poor guy. He just asked for money, does he actually deserve this kind of punishment? I felt kinda depressed to see that helpless guy getting beaten up, eventhough I know that I could do something, but I never actually did. I didn't move a bit. I pretended nothing happened and continued talking to Aiman. I really felt bad, I felt like something was wrong. Aiman wanted to go and help the guy out, but I said don't go. I didn't know why. I kept thinking," If I actually gave that man money, he wouldn't have gotten into this mess." If we went to help those guys would probably beat our asses too, but when I think about it, they have no reason to do so, other than doing it 'for fun'. I was scared. But it's just too late now isn't it? It's just... too late.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Goddamn it life, why give us lemons? Couldn't you given us a better fruit? Watermelons, strawberries, anything sweet? And right before I'm about to ask myself, "How do I make lemonade with my bare hands?" A random guy throws in a pitcher and a lemon squeezer screaming "You're welcome!" Kinda sucks to be honest. It's like you're stuck with reality. but you ARE stuck with reality, no? So why don't you make use of the lemons, and quench your thirst by making a lemonade.
This quote actually tells us indirectly that 'shit happens', so flush it down the toilet and spray deodorant or some fragrant. Accept life as it is, and just go with the flow. Enjoy every bits of life as you go on. You might think, "I wish this lasts forever." or something like that but sometimes it's better of as a memory. Use those bits of memories to make sure you have a good life ahead.
I've learned to appreciate things when they come and and when it's time for them to go, I'll accept it with an open heart. Shit happens, that's for sure, but there's no reason to throw a tantrum just for that. If they go, let them be a part of your past. Don't let your past drag you in moving towards the greater future.
P.S: Despite the fact that this post isn't really about new years(probably cause you're 7 days late)... I hope you guys have a great year ahead of you. ^^
Reply
5...4...3...2...1...
HAPPY NEW YEAR~
My phone camera sucks anyways.
I actually had the urge to write a post on this blog a few days back. But I didn't. HEHEHEHE
My brain had some technical difficulties these few days.(more like mental)
By the time I press "New Post", I seem to wander off to something else.
Finding a reason to not write a post.
I feel kinda stupid for doing that.
This whole day, I spent my time thinking what I did for last year.
...
...
What an unproductive year indeed.
Despite that it was full of sadness, heartbreaks and emotional leaks... it had made me stronger.
Our pasts may be scattered and at times overshadowed by darkness, but they're also an irrevocable part of our lives and personalities. Even if I could change a single thing, I wouldn't, because the past is what led me here.
And I'm quite satisfied with what I have right now.
But forget about the past, it's time to move forward!
I have made some New Year resolution, and I even listed it down.
New Year Resolution
- Get your body in shape.
- Become a better person.
- Stop being lazy.
- Find a way to get money.
- Study harder.
- ....
I think this is enough.
Heck, I don't even think I can accomplish all of it.
I'll just try.
Even if I fail, at least I tried, right?
Since it's the New Years, everyone would wish Happy New Years among themselves.
They would also make those new year jokes, mostly on twitter.
"lol I sat in the toilet since last year.", "dude, I didn't sleep since last year.", etc.
Not that I hate them, it's just that some of them is lame.
Okay, maybe all of them.
It's just because everyone is doing the same thing, and the same joke.
And I envy them for taking my ideas.
How the hell did they get my idea in the first place?
Maybe they put microchips in my head to know what I'm thinking.
...
Damn, these books of cheap fictions are rotting my brain.
But for safety measures, I should electrify my brain.
They say electric shocks can disable the microchips.
...
Stupidstupidstupid.
WHAT AM I THINKING?
Technology is not that advanced. YET
And who would actually get the idea to put a microchip in my head?
Even if it exists, it would cost an awful lot of money, and it won't be worth the money if they put it in my brain.
And they would be stupid to actually have the thought to put it in my brain.
I'll be schooling again in a few days.
Damn, I don't think I'm ready.
My sister is teasing me since she already graduated from highschool.
"Oh lol you need to go to school next year."
Well, I am aware of the fact that I have school next year, so please stop pushing it to my face.
I wish to tell her that, but she would still tease me anyways, so I just sighed.
I didn't even buy exercise books.
I still have leftovers from last year, but then I don't think it would be enough.
I haven't made up which stream and subject I'll be taking next year.
..shit, this is bad. Real bad.
Oh well, I'll eventually buy exercise books and make up my mind by then.
I guess it's nothing to worry about.
Sorry if the post is too short.
It's just that my life ain't that interesting.
And nothing is coming out of my brain, due to the problem that I mentioned earlier.
I would call a mechanic to fix it, but that's just insane people would do.
So I didn't.
The HTML was bugged just now, every words seems to be smaller than normal.
So I had to manually remove the codes, and it was a pain in the arse.
Ah, before I forget,
"lul I wrote the post since last year."
The day has come guys.
The day we have feared.
THE END OF THE WORLD.
...
Turns out nothing actually happened that day.
Just plain old, same old.
And guys, if you didn't notice, I've started to change my writing style a bit. Just a little bit, I guess.
It's kind of a start to make my English better.
But I'm doing this slowly, starting from the blog and twitter.
They say to take small steps right?
I would less likely reach to the point where I'm so fluent in English I completely write or speak with those fascinating words.
Even though I really want to be able to reach that point.
Hopes and dreams, that's what they call it.
I also posted twice today because I forgot to post the earlier post on the 19th.
I should receive a penalty on my tardiness, but it takes me a few mental contortions to remind myself of something that I should do, and it takes awhile. So I can't really blame myself.
So I guess I'm free from the penalty for now.
I'll try my best to be punctual,
next time.
Due to my stupidity and lack of maturity when I was 14 and 15, I have decided to revert most of my posts to draft. I'm sorry, it's just too immature of me talking about my love life like that. And I hope everyone doesn't mind and forgets about it.
THE END.
good bye good luck good day good night
good bye good luck good day good night
Edited on : 15/2/2014
I've finished playing Ib, yeaaaaaaaaaah!
Wanted to record a video of me playing Ib but whattaheck.
I have a lame ass mic and a shitty camera.
Celebrated my little sister's birthday at KFC yesterday.
Secret Recipe Chocolate Indulgence cake oh gawd.
And that crunchy chicken ><
Plus Pepsi.
= Pure epic dinner.
I have a lame ass mic and a shitty camera.
Celebrated my little sister's birthday at KFC yesterday.
Secret Recipe Chocolate Indulgence cake oh gawd.
And that crunchy chicken ><
Plus Pepsi.
= Pure epic dinner.
Guys I've thought about it.
The PLAN.
You wanna know what the plan is..?
Come closer...
*whispers*
That's the plan. :>
That's the plan. :>
Haha, kidding.
Yeah I've thought about it.
Yeah I've thought about it.
What if I post in the blog once a week?
Because that way I have more ideas and I won't be posting weirdass posts.
But then I can't set a day for every week because chances that I might be busy on that particular day.
What do you think? Leave a comment at the Chat box at the side -------->
What do you think? Leave a comment at the Chat box at the side -------->
By the way, please write a message or chat at the chat box at the side.
It's so lonely. ><
Lonely chat is lonely.
*table flip activate*
I woke up this morning and like 10 seconds after that she texted me a good morning :3
And suddenly my credit habis. *sigh*
Meeeeeeeeeeeeh.
And suddenly my credit habis. *sigh*
Meeeeeeeeeeeeh.
Played DotA 2 today, damn my skills are rusty already ><
But I got an item at least :D
But I got an item at least :D
... I'll still need the key though ._.
My friend Khalilullah decided to break the fast at my house today.
He ate a LOT.
Then we went to Nasi Kandar Sedap.
Lepak there until 12.30 lol.
Lepak there until 12.30 lol.
I was scared to go home because it's already late and my mom would kill me for going home late.
Turns out my parents didn't scold me.
That intense moment ><
That intense moment ><
I played Ib, a horror indie game.
Inspired by PewDiePie ^^
Inspired by PewDiePie ^^
It's scary, but heck, once in awhile :P
If you guys want to try it out, click here.
Only click it if you have the guts to play horror games.
Heh just kidding just press it. If you dare ;)
If you guys want to try it out, click here.
Only click it if you have the guts to play horror games.
Heh just kidding just press it. If you dare ;)
And I'm gonna continue playing it at 2 am.
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Since this post is boring I shall insert the joke of the day.
Joke of the day:
Joke of the day:
Q: Where does a one-armed man shop?
A: At a secondhand store.
A: At a secondhand store.
Badumtss.
Sorry for the boring and short post.
I'll try my best to post more interesting stuff in the blog.
Anyways, it's already late, so I need to sleep now.
Baaaaaaai.
*chair mode activate*
LAWL. Today is the official LAWL day. Feel free to LAWL at any times without making it awkward.
LAWL jk, there's no such thing as a LAWL day.
LAWL jk, there's no such thing as a LAWL day.
Eventhough I wish there is. LAWL.
Anyways, today we had Sejarah for trials.
IT WAS SOO EASY.. to flip the pages.
All those questions, mai gawd.
All those questions, mai gawd.
And I get to bring the question paper home.
Marked it.
..... Let's just not talk about the marks shall we?
Tuition Sejarah was fun.
hehe.
Marked it.
..... Let's just not talk about the marks shall we?
Tuition Sejarah was fun.
hehe.
I'm friends with her again ^^
Yeah, the 'conflict' ended with an apology.
Haha, it's a good thing that we're friends again.
OH OH AND REMEMBER THIS DATE! 1/8/2012.
The date we will never forget :3
Weee~
This was the past. And the past remains the past.
I don't know what to write anymore, so
please do visit the blog more often, as I'll try to post in it more often.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaai.
*chair mode activate*
Yeah, the 'conflict' ended with an apology.
Haha, it's a good thing that we're friends again.
This was the past. And the past remains the past.
I don't know what to write anymore, so
please do visit the blog more often, as I'll try to post in it more often.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaai.
*chair mode activate*
